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Illinois Divorce: Surviving a partner who has narcissistic character traits

Surviving a wedding with a partner who has narcissistic character traits might be extremely difficult. A lot of my instances by way of the years have concerned the opposing partner with traits of NPD, or BPD, or traits of comorbidity of each. Listed here are some methods to assist navigate this tough state of affairs:

1. Educate Your self

  • Understanding Narcissism: Find out about narcissistic character dysfunction (NPD) to know the behaviors and traits related to it.
  • Acknowledge Patterns: Establish frequent behaviors reminiscent of manipulation, lack of empathy, want for admiration, and controlling tendencies.
  • From my colleague at, Rando Kreger:You’ll have somebody with narcissistic character dysfunction in your life if:
    • They do or say imply issues to you in a careless or vengeful approach in the event that they’re mad
    • They solely discuss themselves
    • They’ve a by no means ending want for admiration and a spotlight
    • They haven’t any empathy
    • They’re conceited, entitled, and assume they’re superior
    • They’re the sufferer and every thing is another person’s fault


2. Set Boundaries

  • Set up Limits: Clearly outline what behaviors are unacceptable and stick to those boundaries.
  • Constant Enforcement: Constantly implement these boundaries to guard your emotional well-being.

3. Give attention to Self-Care

  • Emotional Well being: Have interaction in actions that nurture your emotional well-being, reminiscent of remedy, hobbies, and socializing with supportive family and friends.
  • Bodily Well being: Keep a wholesome way of life by way of common train, a balanced weight loss plan, and ample sleep.

4. Develop a Assist System

  • Search Skilled Assist: Contemplate remedy or counseling for your self to achieve perspective and coping methods.
  • Assist Teams: Be part of assist teams for companions of narcissists to share experiences and achieve assist.

5. Efficient Communication

  • Assertive Communication: Talk your wants and limits assertively and calmly.
  • Keep away from Triggers: Acknowledge subjects or behaviors that set off damaging responses and attempt to keep away from them when potential.

6. Handle Expectations

  • Real looking Expectations: Settle for that you could be not have the ability to change your partner’s conduct and deal with managing your reactions and expectations.
  • Rejoice Small Wins: Acknowledge and recognize small enhancements or optimistic interactions.

7. Plan for Security

  • Security Plan: If the connection turns into abusive or unsafe, have a plan in place to go away the state of affairs shortly and safely.
  • Authorized Recommendation: Seek the advice of with an NPD-experienced authorized skilled (as is our Agency) to know your rights and choices should you resolve to go away the wedding.

8. Contemplate Lengthy-Time period Choices

  • Consider the Relationship: Usually assess the well being and viability of the wedding.
  • Contingency Planning: Have a plan for monetary independence and residing preparations should you resolve to finish the wedding.

Further Ideas

  • Grey Rock Technique: Reply in a bland, non-reactive solution to decrease drama and battle.
  • Restrict Contact: If potential, cut back the period of time spent in confrontational conditions.
  • Doc Incidents: Hold a report of abusive or manipulative behaviors to your personal reference or potential authorized use.

It’s important to prioritize your psychological and emotional well being. If the state of affairs turns into too damaging, searching for a secure approach out of the wedding could also be the best choice to your well-being.

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